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My life has been really insane these last few months, and this website has suffered as a result.  I’m hoping to do some work on it soon, but I can’t promise because I just don’t know what will happen next.

I realize I’m being vague, and I apologize for that as well.  I can’t talk about much of what has been happening because I must consider the privacy and feelings of other people involved. 

Let me see what I can say without saying anything.   I’ve:

1. written frequently in my private, old-fashioned, pen-and-paper journal.  It helps me keep things straight in my head.
2. been exercising a lot, which makes me healthier and happier.
3. had some very drastic changes in my personal relationships with a number of people.
4. received more and more work/responsibilities as I get more settled into my new job.
5. become a contributor to a quarterly newsletter at work

Monday – Friday my week goes something like this:

• 05:00 – 05:30 wake up, get ready, go to the gym
• 05:30 – 07:20 workout, go home
• 07:20 – 09:00 eat breakfast, shower, pack lunch, check email, iron clothes, get to work
• 09:00 – 17:45 work, lunch, work, go home
• 17:45 – 18:15 dinner
• 18:45 – 22:00 house chores, watch a movie, go out with friends, call family, pay bills, check snail mail, read a book, write in journal, sit in the dark and stare at the ceiling, drool on myself

My weekends are a little more varied and exciting, but by the time I get to a weekend, I have stared at a computer screen for almost 40 hours, and I just can’t make myself sit down in front of one at home, especially when it’s nice outside.

I need to be working on this site.  I need to be trying to find an agent.  I need to be finishing the final round of edits on the second novel.  I need to be researching self-publication.  I need to be on forums and other venues, increasing my visibility and promoting my site.  I need to be writing the third book.

I know what I need to be doing.  I’m just… exhausted.

I don’t know why it seems impossible for me to slow down.  I don’t know why I’m compelled to constantly run at 150% capacity.  I’m not complaining.  I’m actually happier than I have been in years.  I’m very pleased with many aspects of my life.  I’m just worn out.  I need to learn how to slow down a little bit and stop biting off almost more than I chew.

I dropped a 45-pound plate on my foot today.  It fell about three feet and landed edge-down on the bridge of my foot.  I was at the end of my workout, and I was so tired that I was having trouble gauging how much force I was actually using.  I was just trying to pull the plate back off the other plates on the bar so I could get my fingers on it.  Instead, I pulled it hard enough to slide it completely off the bar, and I didn’t have a grip on it yet.  I don’t think I broke any bones, but it’s swollen and has a great big egg stretching the skin.  I think I must have busted a blood vessel or something.  It throbs and hurts like all hell.  I’m bummed because tonight is a full moon, and I was going to do some midnight hiking tonight.  I guess I’ll have to take a raincheck.
Maybe I’ll get some work done on this site after all.

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