Bobaflex: Rock’n'Roll Saviors
I was born and raised in rock’n’roll. My father couldn’t remember any nursery rhymes, but he knew Kiss and Led Zeppelin lyrics, which he sang to me until I was old enough ride around with him and listen to them on his old cassette deck.
Since that time, I’ve seen many bands and many shows, from AC/DC to ZZ Top, and dozens of heavy hitters in between. I know solid, ass-kicking rock’n’roll when I hear it, and unfortunately nowadays I don’t hear it nearly as often as I’d like.
We live in an age when the radio stations are flooded with pussified watered-down “music” that thrives in the mediocre limbo between rock and pop. It has too much guitar and bass to be pop or hip-hop, but the limp-wristed lead singers and lame-ass lyrics keeps it from being true rock’n’roll. (I won't call out any bands in particular, because I wouldn't want to seem cold, and I certainly wouldn't want to hinder anyone.)
Then there are bands like Bobaflex.
I’ve seen them numerous times, and they rock hard enough to go up against any other band I’ve ever heard. I'd put them on the main stage at Ozzfest any day, and laugh when they rocked harder than the rest of the lineup. Their lyrics make sense have meaning. Their music finds that primal, instinctual, reptilian brain and strums your brainstem like a string on a bass guitar. Their songs make you want to scream, stomp, dance, fuck, fight, explode, and implode all at once.
These guys have their shit together, and they're the real deal. If you want to hear true all-American rock’n’roll, then pick a show, buy a ticket, and meet me in the mosh pit.
Shaun, Marti, Chris, Jerod, and Tommy: thanks for keeping rock alive and showing people what it's really about. I'll see you at Bearfest, if not before.
Biography
Shannon's life: The Readers' Digest Condensed Version. It's his story, and he's sticking to it.
Getaway Gear & Bugout Bags
Bugout Bag? What's That?
A "Bugout Bag" is some type of container that holds all the items you think you'd need if something happened and you needed to evacuate quickly (bug out.) Most "experts" agree that it should contain enough supplies to sustain you for a minimum of 72 hours, but there must be a balance between being prepared and being mobile. A bugout bag does you no good if it's so heavy that you can't move with it!
I wrote "experts" in quotes because so many people have opinions on the optimal loadout for a bugout bag - ranging from desk jockeys who never see wilderness except for on TV, to the hard corps survivalist psychos who are dead certain that the revolution is coming and we'd all better stockpile weapons and ammo for the war. I fall somewhere in between these two extremes. I will say that the following paragraphs describe the optimal loadout for me. If you asked for my advice, I'd recommend a few things that I think everyone should have, but for the most part, you need to assess your situation, your needs, and your abilities when you pack your own bugout bag. It should be tailored to you. For instance, I don't need any prescription medication, and I'm an ox. That means my bag will be different than that of a 90-pound woman on prescription meds. My vision sucks, so I'll have glasses and contacts to pack where a guy with 20/20 vision (lucky bastard) won't have to worry about that.
I want to note that bugout bags aren't just for militia nut jobs . I keep mine packed so I can travel on a moment's notice. It's my compromise. As I get older, I see myself slowing down and getting predictable. I have a 40-hour-per-week job. I'm buying a house. I often spend my Friday or Saturday nights doing laundry and dishes. Whether I like to admit it or not, I'm putting down roots. But I can leave at a moment's notice when the whim strikes me as long as that bag is packed. I can hit the road and see my brothers or go wherever I want, and I know I have everything I need. It has the added benefit of ensuring I have what I need to survive if an emergency would occur, and one just never knows what might happen in these troubled times. It never hurts to be prepared.
Fantasy 102: World Building
This article builds on Fantasy 101, where we discussed the importance of a basic plot and an understanding of your story's scope. Plot and scope will dictate how varied the setting of your story will be. If your tale transpires in a single cave or cottage, your setting will be much simpler than a story that spans multiple continents. To say it another way, your plot and scope will determine how much of the fantasy world you must build.
Some critics of the genre claim that fantasy authors have an easy job. We don't have to research our settings. We can simply make up anything we want and - POOF! - it's part of our world. I suspect some writers are inclined to write fantasy for this very reason.
I argue that any serious fantasy writer actually has a tougher job than a writer who crafts stories set in the real world. Real world settings require research, because the author can't write anything that's a glaring contradiction to real life. As long as he avoids that pitfall, he has instant reader acceptance of his setting. It just takes time and diligence.
A fantasy author, on the other hand, must create every detail of his world. This world must contain enough detail for readers to understand it, but it must not be too detailed, or the readers will get lost. Many of the details an author knows about his world will never be directly written into a book, but the author must be intimate with all aspects of his setting, because the devil is in the supporting details. Detailed knowledge of the setting will make the entire story a fuller, more immersive experience for the reader, because the author's knowledge is revealed indirectly through dialogue and little details.
If an author of a real-world story needs details on the economy or architecture of the Bronx, he has thousands of pages of resource material. If a fantasy author needs details about the economy or politics of the elven city of Terius, all the details must come out of his own head. These details must not contradict one another; the author must convey them in concise and fluid manner, and he must never forget any detail he includes in a story. If he forgets, and contradicts it later, some reader will ensure there's hell to pay. This is true of any author, but I contend that it's harder to remember "facts" about things that don't exist. A fantasy author must create a world that is fresh and new to the reader, but not so fantastic that the reader can't relate well enough to wish to stay in the world.
Depending on the plot and scope of your story, you may have weeks or months of work ahead of you. There's a reason we mortals usually leave world building to the gods. It's really hard work!
I recommend a rough, top-down approach. Write down the basic features of your setting that can be derived from your basic plot and scope. Then divide that list into individual items and fill in details as you're able. Keep a notepad handy at all times, because you'll never know when a great detail for your world will pop into your head.
As a general rule, I also recommend that, as the writer, you're aware of what's going on around your story. If your entire setting is in one castle, even if no actions or events occur outside of that castle, you still need to know something about the surrounding countryside, because the castle doesn't exist in a void. The surrounding environment will have an impact on the people inside. If it doesn't, your setting will not be as immersive as possible. Readers may not buy into it.
Based on your plot and scope, here's a partial list of world elements you may need to consider:
Topography
Continent size and shape, key terrain features (e.g. rivers, mountains, forests, oceans,) man-made features (e.g. cities, roads, bridges, fortresses, mines, national/political borders)
Races
How many races will you have? Each race increases your work exponentially, because each race represents at least one separate culture (and probably has multiple subcultures,) which requires details for a multitude of factors.
- Languages: How do races speak within their race and with other races?
- Government: How is order maintained? Who makes the rules? Who enforces them?
- Politics: who are the power players, and what are their agendas? Are they violent, passive, or something in between?
- Arts and entertainment: what do these beings do for fun? Do they have music, sculpture, painting, games of chance, games of skill, written language, or formal education?
- Technology: How do they communicate or travel over distances? How sophisticated are their buildings, fortifications, weapons, armor, medicine, astronomy, chemistry, and other sciences?
- Economics: How are goods and services exchanged? Where is the supply? Where is the demand? What goods and services are produced? Who wants these products?
- Religions: What do these beings believe? What impact does religion have on the rest of their society? How many different religions are followed by the race, and do they tolerate each other?
- Environment: How does weather and topography affect the race? What do they eat?
- Other: What about holidays, calendars, time keeping, taboos, superstitions, and prejudices?
Regions
Even if your story has only one race, all of the considerations for race apply to different regions, such as two countries, two baronies, two cities, two sides of town, two ends of the same street or two rooms in the same house.
Other Forces
- What kinds of creatures, other than sentient races, populate your world? How do these creatures and the races interact?
- What natural laws are at work in your universe? Do they work the same as the ones in the real world?
- What other forces are at work? Does your world have magic? How does it work? What are its capabilities and limitations (I could devote an entire book to this topic.)
As a writer, you can cheat and avoid most of this work, but your story will suffer if you do. Fortunately, you don't need to figure it out all at once. I recommend that you write out the basic details you have for an area, and flesh it out as more pops in your head. More ideas will come to you as you fill in the blanks for your world. If your hero's quest will span six full novels to get to the final castle, you don't need a to-scale blueprint of that place before you write the first book. You can fill it in as you go, as long as everything remains consistent and believable within the context you've established with previous details.
One last piece of good news: No detail is permanent until you print the book and people buy it. You can always go back and change details of your world as long as you're careful to avoid contradictions or disparities.
In the beginning, you should have at least a few details for the initial setting, the surrounding area, and any areas that factor into the main characters' backstories. Yes, I realize it's a ton of work, if you want to do it well. If you don't want to put forth the effort, perhaps you should do some research on the New York subway and write a story about places that already exist. Leave world building to those who would be gods.
Tune in next time for Fantasy 103: Characters.
Fantasy 101: Plot & Scope
This is the first in a series of articles that describe my thoughts on writing fantasy fiction. I've read a few books that claim to teach a person how to write fantasy, and I didn't like any of them. Each book was a step-by-step spoon-feeding session that used cookie cutter techniques to "teach" a person how to write one specific type of story.
I want to discuss considerations more than specific techniques. I want to explore a way of open-ended thinking that I hope will allow you to develop diverse, living fantasy stories. With that said, let's get to work right away.
I've broken this discussion into three areas:
- Story elements
- Character elements
- World elements
In all honesty, these three areas can't be completely segregated. Each one affects the other two, but we have to organize it somehow and start somewhere. For better or for worse, this is my system.
Story Elements (Two from many)
A quick Internet search will produce hundreds of documents that discuss all the parts that make a story (theme, mood, tone, conflict, etc.) I'm concerned with only two. The first is plot, which we'll address in a moment. The second is something that many texts fail to mention, but I'm convinced it is of paramount importance to a fantasy writer. I'm talking about scope.
Scope and plot work together to determine how much effort a story will require. You probably have a million ideas running through your mind. Cool fight scenes, sexy babes in distress, horrible monsters, dark caverns, and so much more are flying around inside your skull as you try to get a handle on the story you want to write.
Stop. Take a deep breath. Focus. Get a piece of paper and a pen. Concentrate on the basic plot. Don't worry about names of characters, names of places, the distance between cities, or how many ways your dragons like to cook virgins. There will be a time for as many minute details as you want to generate, but that time is not now. Right now, you need to write a generic, but structured, plot. It will probably read like a stripped-out summary of your story:
- Main character is left for dead by his uncle.
- Uncle tries to force the main character's true love into marriage.
- Main character is discovered by dragon creature.
- Main character regains strength and fights uncle.
- Main character defeats uncle and is reunited with his true love.
- Main character weds his true love, and after a few blissful years of peace, they have a son, but are unaware the child has dragon essence is in him.
- Child is a half-breed, is now heir to the throne, just as the dragon intended
- Main character traverses the continent, until he finds and slays the dragon.
- Main character and his wife take their son deep into the country so they can live in peace. The end (for now.)
This plot isn't very helpful as a writing tool, but it will help you devise the scope of your story. Does the story take hours, days, weeks, years, or eons to complete? Does it span a single cave, a town, a barony, a kingdom, a world, or a multiverse? Are the main characters peasants, warriors, heroes, nobility, kings, queens, or gods? Do the events of the plot change minor aspects of life for a few people, or is the entire world changed? Perhaps the very fabric of time is altered. Does the story involve one person, a few, many, or armies?
These are questions of scope, and they're essential. The answers to these questions will determine how much work lies ahead of you in terms of world building and character creation. A story that involves a peasant child in a single cave will require less work than a story that has legendary heroes at the heads of armies that battle between parallel planes of existence. A single town is much easier to design than an entire world.
A basic plot and a solid understanding of the story's scope will make it possible to organize and design the rest of the groundwork. We still need to build a world, (or a portion of one,) and we need characters. Tune in next time to read Fantasy 102: World Building
Infinite State Machine

Have you ever heard of a finite state machine (FSM)? It's a term that gets thrown around when folks discuss mathematical models, digital circuits, or computer science. You'll also see it occasionally in data networking (EIGRP uses the DUAL FSM to determine favorable routes.)
You might be wondering, "What is an FSM?" More likely, you may wonder, "Why is he telling us this?"
Perhaps it's an oversimplification, but an FSM is basically a logical device used to compute results based on a set of conditions. They can be used to program computers to sort through a diverse array of data and arrive at pertinent conclusions or predictions. They're called finite state machines because any given FSM can accept only the preset conditions it's designed to consider, and those preset conditions can only be subjected to a limited number of state transitions.
I'm talking about it because people sometimes ask me questions like, "How do you come up with your plots? How do you keep character behavior consistent? How do you decide what the characters will do next? How do you keep it all straight?"
Waterproof Earphones

I’ve been a couch potato for a few months, playing my video games, and I thought about reviewing the games, but all three are very popular titles and have already been reviewed over and over to the point where I really don’t have anything fresh to add.
So today I want to review another product that I’m using now that I’m through my gaming binge and back in the gym (almost) every morning. I’m talking about H2O Audio’s waterproof earphones for the Ipod Shuffle.
ZZ Top
I saw Blackberry Smoke and ZZ Top on Saturday night, at the Keith Albee theater in Huntington.
The theater was a nice change of scenery for a concert; I'm more accustomed to open venues, stadium seating, or general admission. I'm also used to wilder crowds. The theater was perfect for the laid-back blues music. Dark drapes and underlit, ornate carvings framed the stage and set the mood. It felt like we had stepped back in time, back to when the blues began.
Passive Voice: Aggressive Killer of Reader Attention Span
Many writers fall prey to passive voice. No one can avoid it forever, and it does have its uses at times. However, an author - especially a fiction author - can strengthen prose by avoiding passive voice whenever possible.
Passive Voice Defined
A sentence is passive any time an object of a sentence is made into the subject. If that doesn't make sense, consider this example:
- The curse was uttered.
It is passive because the curse is the object that was uttered. The true subject of this sentence is omitted from the sentence. We could add him into the mix:
- The curse was uttered by the heretic.
The sentence is still passive. The curse is the subject of the sentence, and it cannot actively do anything. Obviously, it cannot utter itself. The heretic is the source of the action. To make this sentence active, make him the subject of the sentence:
- The heretic uttered a curse.
In general, any form of "to be" combined with a past participle creates a passive sentence. Forms of "to be" include "being," "will be," "will have been," "has been," "have been," "had been," "is," "am," "are," "were," and "was."
What's the Big Deal?
Now that we've defined passive voice, you may wonder why anyone cares. Passive voice has three major weaknesses:
- It isn't as interesting or dramatic as active voice.
- Its ambiguity often creates confusion or distrust.
- Omitted details makes an author seem lazy.
Save the Drama for Your Mama
Passive voice does not engage a reader as completely as active voice. Imagine a scene from a fantasy novel where the hero rides to meet a dragon in battle. Which example holds your attention better?
- The mountain was ridden across by the hero to avoid the devastating sand storm that was raised by the dragon's flapping wings.
- The dragon flapped its wings and raised a devastating dust storm on the plain. The hero rode across the mountain to avoid it.
Politicians, Take Notes!
Passive voice often creates confusion or misleads a reader. The following voice contains many words, but it doesn't really say anything at all:
- His wife might have admitted that a few insults may have been said.
Alternately, passive voice can be used to avoid blame. Neither of the following sentences specifies a person who can be associated with the action:
- Three thousand ballots were lost.
- Some of the files were leaked to the press.
Who lost the ballots? Who leaked the files? Even if a writer is not intentionally obscuring identities, this type of writing rips the spine right out of your work. It makes a reader suspect the validity of the entire piece, even if other facts are clearly stated.
Lazy Brains Write Lazy Sentences
Lazy writers tend to use passive voice extensively. Unfortunately, the converse is also true. Extensive use of passive voice makes a writer seem unmotivated. Why should another person be motivated to read your work when your own apathy and laziness are evident in every weak sentence?
I saw evidence of this trend many times when I taught college classes. I assigned essay questions at midterm. Students had seven weeks to research the questions and to plan their written responses. Then they wondered why I flunked them for writing lazy sentences.
- The data packets are encapsulated.
(A person could write an entire book on the encapsulation process, but this fellow summed it up in one, completely uninformative sentence.)
Reconsider the very first example in this article.
- The curse was uttered.
Suppose this is a sentence in a book report or a synopsis for a story that I've never read. Reading this sentence poses more questions than answers. Who uttered the curse? Why? What kind of curse was it? What effect did it have?
Even if we rephrase it into an active sentence, all questions are not answered.
- The heretic uttered a curse.
However, written in an active voice, we have a better frame on which we can attach additional details.
- Confident that his dark powers could kill his foes, the heretic uttered a curse on the first night of the new moon.
This type of sentence is not possible if we start with the passive version.
The examples above show the limits and faults of passive language. It can kill good writing, but fortunately it is easy to detect and correct once you've trained your eyes to see it.
Star Wars: TFU Wrap-up
I finished The Force Unleashed last night. I played it through on the standard difficulty without too many problems. I found all of the hidden items, unlocked all of the additional content, and completed all optional mission objectives (except for one really annoying one.) When I beat it on "normal" mode, it unlocked a "super hard" mode. I 'm playing the game through one more time on the super hard difficulty level.
The story elements, voice acting, facial animations, and plot revelations make this game a must-play for any Star Wars fan. I won't spoil the story, but I will say that it really does show what a bastard Darth Vader really is, and it sets up Episode IV perfectly.
When I'm done with this play-through, I'll loan it to a friend because, as much as I enjoy the game, it is short. I didn't track my playing time to the minute, but I know it didn't take more than ten-twelve hours to beat it. By the time I play through it one more time, I'll be ready to put it down and try something else. I still have a month to go before Fable 2 comes out.
I see this game the same way I see Bioshock. It's incredibly fun to play because there are so many ways to wreck havoc, but it's only good in short doses. I'll pick it back up in a few months and have fun all over again as I kill things in ways I didn't try during the first go-around.
For now, I think I'll dust off my copy of "Knights of the Old Republic 2." It isn't as action-oriented as the one I'm playing now, but my current game allows minor lightsaber customization through the use of two types of crystals. It's simpler but similar to the customization options available in KOTOR2 (which allowed players three or four customization options plus three blade styles.)
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
I picked up my copy of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed for the Xbox 360. I played it for a few hours last night and wanted to share my initial impressions.
In terms of story, the game fills in the gap between Episode III and Episode IV. (That means it takes place between the last "new" movie and the very first original Star Wars movie.) The developers worked so closely with George Lucas that the game's story is considered Star Wars cannon. As I understand it, events of this game set the stage to lead right into Episode IV.
You play as Darth Vader's secret apprentice, and you can use the Dark Side of the Force in very amazing, primal, and destructive ways. The entire game is all about you using the Force to utterly destroy all enemies and obstacles in your path.
Saints of Los Angeles
In case you haven't heard, Mötley Crüe has released a new album entitled Saints of Los Angeles. I've listened to it a number of times, and as a long-time Crüe fan, I think I am qualified to express my humble opinions concerning the new music.
Crue-fest 2008
I recently attended Cruefest 2008 at Blossom Music Center, a few miles south of Cleveland.
We had decent seat, a bit left of center stage, and just behind the VIP front-row area. I guess we were about 25 feet from the stage. We weren't close enough to get any good photos with the disposable cameras that security let us have, but we were close enough to see everything we wanted to see. It was a cool day (for Auguts,) we had seats to sit in between bands, and concession lines were not too long. Also, the acoustics of the music center were much better than the other places I've seen live acts in recent years, so all in all it was a very enjoyable experience.
My First Camera
I finally broke down and bought my first digital camera last Saturday. I had a couple criteria in mind:
- 8 megapixels or more
- The higher the optical zoom, the better
- Some internal memory
- Ability to record video
- Small, easily packed/carried frame
- Not too many features (that I don't know how or why to use.)
- Not too expensive (since it'll probably be broken in 6 months)
I ended up with a Kodak Easyshare Z1285:
- 12 megapixels
- 5x optical zoom; 4x digital zoom
- 64 megabytess of internal memory (about 15 pictures)
- Records 720i HD video with audio (as .mov files)
- Very small, narrow frame
- A number of features coupled with selectable pre-sets for photo dummies like me
- Standard bi-pod mounting threads
- $150 price tag
It's exactly what I wanted, except I would have preferred more than a 5x optical zoom. There were a few other models that had better zoom, but they lacked more in other areas. I bought a 4-gigabyte memory card, rechargeable batteries, and a small, sturdy water resistant case for it, and so far, I'm supremely pleased with it.
There is only one small problem. I want to use the camera to record the occasional video for this blog, but the .mov video files are HUGE, and most of the best WordPress video players only stream flash video. I've found software to convert the file formats, but all of them cost $100 (or more.) That's about $100 more than I want to spend for the ability to post my ugly mug in videos.
The Bouncer
Shannon is a smart fellow, but he's not the classic computer super-geek. Threaten him or someone under his protection, and you'll see Bruce Banner become the Hulk.
He has dabbled in the protection business. He's done a very little bit of body guard work and has worked a few clubs as a bouncer. He enjoys both the social opportunities and occasional brawl the job provides. It appeals to his dual nature: Computer nerd by day, tough guy by night.
Unfortunately, current time constraints and other professional obligations prevent him from indulging in this work, but Shannon hopes to have time and opportunity to do it again before he gets to old to be effective.
The Ranger
Although he hasn't been a Ranger since 2000, and his National Guard days are almost over, Shannon still honors the creed that was carved into his heart when he joined the 1/75th Ranger Battalion in 1996.
Review: Zune 80
Most people have heard of I-pods by now. If you haven’t, I’d really like to know where you’ve been hiding, (and do you have room for one more?)
I-pod’s are definitely cool little gadgets, but they do not have a total monopoly on the music player market. Microsoft offers a line of comparable products called the Zune. I bought one a couple weeks ago, and I thought I’d share my thoughts on the device.









